Dumbledore and Diet Coke: Send an Owl to the Ad Agency Right Away!
Those of you who have – like me – read the book Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, and have also seen the movie of the same name will have little trouble, I am sure, conjuring up the image. Said image being that of Albus Dumbledore and Harry Potter, side by side in the cave, risking their lives to thwart the evil wizard Lord Voldemort.
For the uninitiated, Dumbledore and Harry were looking to procure – and then destroy – a horcrux, which is an infernal magical object into which a madman has encased a piece of his soul. It’s a nasty business, and in this case, nearly a fatal one. However, as is usually the case (Martin Scorcese notwithstanding), the heroes triumphed and lived to fight another day.
The plot was diabolical. In order to retrieve the magically protected horcrux, Dumbledore was left with no other option but to drink the unkown potion in the basin where the horcrux had been placed. Consumption of this dreaded concoction, it turns out, causes the drinker to relive his or her most horrible moments, weakening them to a near death state. And it also leaves them with a burning thirst.
The final magical protection the horcrux had was that the only source of water that could be found was the water in the pool surrounding the island on which the aforementioned basin rested. Any and all attempts to produce water via magic, and therefore, any attempts to circumvent the perfidious enchantment cast on the cave, were doomed to failure.
So, Harry did the only thing he could, which was to retrieve water from the pool. This action triggered the final trap, which, perpetrated against a lesser wizard, would have resulted in a gruesome and unimaginable death.
And then it occurred to me. A great idea for promotional campaign. Dig it if you will: Any and all attempts to produce water were doomed to failure. But what about other beverages? Orange Juice, perhaps? Vodka? Coffee? I know that an ice cold German beer is something I very much enjoy to slake my thirst. German beer – and Diet Coke.
Re-imagine, if you will, the scene I had described previously. Dumbledore, having drunk the potion, appearing to Harry to be on death’s door. Weak, disoriented and cursed with a burning thirst that can’t be quenched.
Harry attempts to summon water. Due to the dark magic about the cave, it disappears just as quickly as it appeared. Another summoning attempt. Same result. A third try. A fourth failed attempt, and despair filling Harry like the ineffectual air filling a pool toy courtesy of a frazzled parent just looking for peace.
Then, the camera focuses on Harry’s tortured face. Suddenly, a small grin crosses his face. Instead of “aguamenti” Harry calls out “makeitreal” and an icy cold Diet Coke appears in his hand, open and ready to drink. Harry pours some into Dumbledore’s waiting mouth, and as soon as the drink passes his lips, he springs up, revived and refreshed.
A la “Mean” Joe Green in that famous ’70s commercial, Dumbledore downs the remainder of the soda in one continuous chug. Finished, Dumbledore holds the empty bottle at arm’s length, and smiles broadly. Then, he turns to the camera and says “Life Tastes Good!” Cut. Print.
BETC London, I’ll be expecting that call any day now. You’re welcome.
Arrow – If You’re Not Watching, You’re a Poltroon
What? I’m just saying it like it is! Everyone has that one (or twenty) show that they love, and that they post about (frequently) on Facebook. Well, Arrow is my show to post about. And since I’m aware of two other people who watch the show, I thought I ought to give the show a shout out and let the show’s creators know that there are viewers and that they shouldn’t even think about cancelling the show.
I admit that I was dubious when I first heard about the show. It centers around Oliver Queen/Green Arrow (played by Stephen Amell), who is a secondary DC character at best. He’s had a few good times, but overall, he’s pretty much overshadowed by more prominent characters such as Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman and Green Lantern.
But I watched the show. And this even was a bit of a stretch, as this brought the number of shows that I currently watch to three. That number is now down to two, as I have pretty much stopped watching The Walking Dead, but I digress. I missed Arrow’s first episode, but picked it up with the second. I was able to piece together the basics pretty well.
When the episode ended, I wanted to see more. This is very rare for me when it comes to TV shows. Arrow doesn’t try to do too much – it’s not just a drama or just a comedy or a thriller – it combines all of these elements and seems to distill the best elements of them. It’s not a cop or law show (even though two of the main characters are a cop and a lawyer), and – best of all, to me – it’s not a hospital-based show. I think it’s safe to say that these three types of shows have been covered pretty thoroughly.
There are some Dark Knight/Batman elements about the show, but the similarities are not distracting or overwhelming. The show is thoughtfully written, capably acted, AND the folks who work on the show have done some homework. There are subtle changes to the source material – Starling City, shipwrecked on an island, a family life, “the Book” – but they get the broad strokes, and add in subtle references that enable comic book aficionados to smile and nod appreciatively, while not getting bogged down in the details and rendering the show unwatchable for the uninitiated.
Memorable esoteric moments include when Laurel (played by David Cassidy’s daughter Katie Cassidy) mentions wearing fishnets at a Halloween party. Or when Oliver refers to his younger sister as “Speedy.” Adding characters from other DC properties, such as Deathstroke the Terminator, The Royal Flush Gang, the Huntress and the Triad, which helps lend some depth to the proceedings. And if you miss the references, it doesn’t negatively impact the enjoyment of the show.
The way they handle the characters is refreshing, too. There’s a rotating cast, but they don’t all appear in every episode. Of course, there are some folks who do, but many of the seeming throwaway characters (Laurel’s cop father, Tommy, Malcom, the archer guy on the island, Deathstroke, Diggle’s sister-in-law, Felicity Smoak) have appeared more than once and are almost always used to good effect.
All I’m saying is that Arrow is a good show, and it would be cool if folks would take an hour from their day and watch it. It is saying something that I enjoy a show enough to ramble on about it for this long. I just don’t want it to be cancelled with so much potential yet to be tapped. And besides, after The Hunger Games and The Avengers, aren’t we all hooked on archers now?
Mind, I haven’t heard anything about it being on the cancellation block, but then again, I haven’t heard much about it at all. There are multiple interesting plot threads going on, and the latest episode actually surprised me with a revelation. It was one of those “Oh man, that sucks! I didn’t see that coming!” moments.
I think you’d like it if you watched. And then you might want to see the next episode. And I’d like it if talk of cancellation never comes about. And if you do tune in, maybe I’ll watch Honey Boo Boo in return. And if I’m willing to do that, I think you should be willing to watch Arrow.
Pleasant TV Surprises – MTV’s “Pants” and AMC’s “Comic Book Men”
I watched a show and I liked it… Two, actually. Yes, that’s right. After years of finding very little on television that I actually liked and/or wanted to watch, I have discovered two shows of which I’d like to see more. Take that, preposition! These are words (prior to that preposition non sequitur) that I didn’t think I’d actually be able to write. Not due to writer’s block or illiteracy, but because I am annoyingly (some might say objectively or charmingly? …ahem!) hypercritical and judgmental of movies and television shows and haven’t seen anything in the past couple of years that made me want to watch. More on this later.
You see, I have a love/dislike/lack of patience/hate relationship with television and movies. It’s not that I think I could do it any better. That’s not really the point. The point is, that if you’re going to be in a position of making a TV show or a movie, it should be good. Always. There’s a lot of money at stake in these things. And careers. Not only of the actors and writers and producers if the show doesn’t catch on or if the movie flops. But of all the nameless, but essential, people who do the behind-the-scenes work to make the writer’s vision possible.
And then there’s the time investment of the viewer. Too many times in the past I’ve tuned in to a new show only to tune out after about ten minutes. If it looks like it’s going to be the same old, same old, then I’m not going to stick around. A lot of shows are pretty much the same formulaic stuff with a different cast and an altered premise. I always look to see what’s different about a show. Too often I have found that there’s very little that distinguishes one show from another.
Unsurprisingly, then, there are only about five shows currently on television that I could honestly say that I am interested in watching, so for me to say that I liked any show – outside of that five – is pretty amazing. I’m not saying that I am a good judge of what is good and what isn’t. Quite the opposite – I’m sure I’m a terrible demographic for this sort of thing. I’m just saying that it takes a lot to get me to tune in and then to make me want to come back.
So here’s what happened. I was paging through show listings in OnDemand (don’t judge), noting how there wasn’t even one show in the E-J section that I watch – or have ever watched. Then I saw this title: “I Just Want My Pants Back” and was intrigued. Something about the name called to me. I clicked through to the next menu, and voilà! – there were the first two episodes. If you’re following closely, you can probably determine what happened next.
That’s right, I started watching. A bad sign: it’s an MTV show – often not a good thing. But that’s really a generalization (I think many would agree an accurate one) fit for their (I’m hypercritical and judgmental, remember?) putrid reality shows. But, I decided to stick it out and at least see how long it would be before I lost interest. The answer, my friend, was blowin’ in the wind – and 22 minutes. And, I liked it enough to watch the second episode as well. Score!
I don’t know what it was. The characters were kinda quirky, but not in the overdone cliché way that seems to prevail these days (think “New Girl” or any Zooey Deschanel vehicle). And there was snappy, authentic, give and take dialogue that was funny and interesting, and seemed a little less forced than it does on most shows I’ve seen recently. The scenarios of hanging out with friends and sexual exploits were all in place. I just felt like I was watching the exploits of people that I knew in college. Or of people that I’d have liked to have known in college. One of the two.
And I think I (just now) realized what the most appealing aspect of the show was. No laugh track. Imagine that! A show that dares to allow the acting and writing carry the day all on it’s own. And it was good. I discovered, after a few internet searches for the show, that it is not a new show (debuted in 2011) and that it has it’s detractors, but I am undeterred. I really wish more comedies would eschew the laugh track and let us determine whether or not something is actually funny.
And the second show? “Comic Book Men” on AMC. It is done by the very entertaining filmaker Kevin Smith, and centers around his comic book shop in Red Bank, New Jersey, which is called Jay & Silent Bob’s Secret Stash. The basic ‘plot’ is that Mr. Smith introduced a camera to the geek world, complete with the making of a comic book podcast that he does with four of his buddies (three of which actually work at/run the store) and conversations about comic books and comic book characters. As you’d expect from Kevin Smith, it’s pretty damn funny stuff.
The first episode (and it’s very rare that I would see the first episode of any show anywhere near the time it first airs) offered up a couple of collectors coming into the store with some pretty cool things, and encountering the inevitable disappointment that every collector feels when they find out that this item is not as valuable as they thought it was. It’s probably more accurate to say that they weren’t going to get the money that the items were ‘worth’ and were lucky to even hear an amount that was in that same ballpark. It was kind of depressing to watch. To their credit, some of the collectors decided not to sell.
Next, they talked glowingly about the Collingswood Flea Market, and then three of the guys went there and sold stuff for cheap. It would have been kind of cool to have been at the flea market that day. It was refreshing to see something that celebrated the toys, comic books and super cool memorabilia of the 70s that we were all supposed to have outgrown or forgotten. And it’s nice to see all the collectibles in the store, and to listen to these guys talk so enthusiastically about something that they loved when they were kids.
Oh, the responsibility. Two new shows to watch. I don’t know how this happened, but I’m glad it did. It’s always nice to be pleasantly surprised like this. And if you happen to stumble upon either of these shows (or seek them out now that you’ve read these brilliant and compelling commentaries), I’d recommend you do like I did and give them a fair shot.
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Alone in His Field; No Zombies or Mad Men
Based on what I am seeing on Facebook, I am apparently the only person on Earth who is not lamenting the season’s end of The Walking Dead and also not watching (nor have ever watched) Mad Men.
But that’s OK – this sort of thing isn’t exactly new territory for me. I am often on the opposite side of the fence on matters such as this. For example: I never saw an episode of Lost. I know. I’ll pause now so you can pick up your drink, or get your heart restarted or just allow time for you to recover from the shock of this bombshell.
While I am sure that Mad Men is a fine TV show, and I am sure that the near universal praise for the show is fully and truly warranted – I have little interest in watching it. And truth be told, for whatever reason – I never did. My reasons for this are best kept to myself. Suffice it to say that I see Mad Men as a fairly generic, sterotypical, recycled set up that has been covered many times over by countless TV shows before it.
I’m sure that this is a narrow minded and frustratingly dismissive attitude to take, but I’ve gotta be me. Sometimes I will decide years later to check out a show from the past and find out that my assessment of it was inaccurate. I don’t see that happening here, but you never know. I can see this happening with Lost, but not with Mad Men. Time will tell.
Now, the Walking Dead is another story. I did watch the first season, and thought it was one of the best shows around. All I needed to hear is that it was based on a comic book and that Frank Darabont (he of Shawshank Redemption fame) was going to be the writer/director for at least some of it, and I was intrigued. And was not disappointed.
Those first six episodes were chilling, compelling, horrifying and just plain fun. Everything you’d want a show to be! At least, what you’d want a horror show to be. I found the story and characters intriguing and the acting and writing was top notch. Every episode left me wanting more, and wanting to see what happened next.
Season two was another story. Started off with a hootenanny, then got a mite slow midway through. Came up with a humdinger of a midseason finale, then drifted back to meandering until the end of the sophomore offering. Unlike with the first season, I was not left with a burning desire to see the next season. I was interested, but the luster had faded. And I think that Darabont had since moved on to other projects somewhere during the season.
I watched maybe the first two or three installments of season three, then called it quits. Among my ill conceived reasons:
Perhaps it’s for the best. I mean, we are talking about the extermination of the human race here. Eventually, all of these people will be Zombie Chow. I think I got the best of what the show had to offer, and I look back fondly to the scenes and moments that made the first two seasons so … utterly watchable.
Now, the good news in all of this is that I have a new show to be looking forward to: Joss Whedon’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. After The Avengers, I will definitely be giving this a look. And who knows, if things go well it could join Arrow and Big Bang Theory in a very exclusive club.
That being shows that I watch with anything resembling consistency.