Those of you who have – like me – read the book Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, and have also seen the movie of the same name will have little trouble, I am sure, conjuring up the image. Said image being that of Albus Dumbledore and Harry Potter, side by side in the cave, risking their lives to thwart the evil wizard Lord Voldemort.

For the uninitiated, Dumbledore and Harry were looking to procure – and then destroy – a horcrux, which is an infernal magical object into which a madman has encased a piece of his soul. It’s a nasty business, and in this case, nearly a fatal one. However, as is usually the case (Martin Scorcese notwithstanding), the heroes triumphed and lived to fight another day.

The plot was diabolical. In order to retrieve the magically protected horcrux, Dumbledore was left with no other option but to drink the unkown potion in the basin where the horcrux had been placed. Consumption of this dreaded concoction, it turns out, causes the drinker to relive his or her most horrible moments, weakening them to a near death state. And it also leaves them with a burning thirst.

The final magical protection the horcrux had was that the only source of water that could be found was the water in the pool surrounding the island on which the aforementioned basin rested. Any and all attempts to produce water via magic, and therefore, any attempts to circumvent the perfidious enchantment cast on the cave, were doomed to failure.

So, Harry did the only thing he could, which was to retrieve water from the pool. This action triggered the final trap, which, perpetrated against a lesser wizard, would have resulted in a gruesome and unimaginable death.

And then it occurred to me. A great idea for promotional campaign. Dig it if you will: Any and all attempts to produce water were doomed to failure. But what about other beverages? Orange Juice, perhaps? Vodka? Coffee? I know that an ice cold German beer is something I very much enjoy to slake my thirst. German beer – and Diet Coke.

Re-imagine, if you will, the scene I had described previously. Dumbledore, having drunk the potion, appearing to Harry to be on death’s door. Weak, disoriented and cursed with a burning thirst that can’t be quenched.

Harry attempts to summon water. Due to the dark magic about the cave, it disappears just as quickly as it appeared. Another summoning attempt. Same result. A third try. A fourth failed attempt, and despair filling Harry like the ineffectual air filling a pool toy courtesy of a frazzled parent just looking for peace.

Then, the camera focuses on Harry’s tortured face. Suddenly, a small grin crosses his face. Instead of “aguamenti” Harry calls out “makeitreal” and an icy cold Diet Coke appears in his hand, open and ready to drink. Harry pours some into Dumbledore’s waiting mouth, and as soon as the drink passes his lips, he springs up, revived and refreshed.

A la “Mean” Joe Green in that famous ’70s commercial, Dumbledore downs the remainder of the soda in one continuous chug. Finished, Dumbledore holds the empty bottle at arm’s length, and smiles broadly. Then, he turns to the camera and says “Life Tastes Good!” Cut. Print.

BETC London, I’ll be expecting that call any day now. You’re welcome.