Gotta Do A Better Job
I’m not one to focus on what the usual voices of Philadelphia sports media (like WIP’s morning radio host (more accurately escaped sociopath) Angelo Cataldi, who thinks he does, but does not, represent the typical Philly fan) have to say about much of what goes on sportswise in Philly. As as Steelers fan, I can look at Eagles situations from an outsider’s point of view. I tend not to get bogged down in the hometown rhetoric.
But this is different. Andy Reid, the polarizing former head coach of the Eagles is returning to Philadelphia to coach against his former team. Suddenly, there is something that has drowned out the ridiculous Chip Kelly bombast that has been swirling for the past few weeks. The Eagles fanbase is alive and talking. And, while this is good for sycophants like Cataldi… it’s not really good for anyone who is objective and retains his or her sanity when presented with a delicious situation like a former coach returning to the city.
Reid was maddening. His press conferences went in circles and he provided no answers to any questions. He was repetitive and condescending and evasive. Despite many voices questioning his coaching moves, he plowed on, striding a very similar path week after week, For a while, things went pretty well. The Eagles went to the Super Bowl in 2005 (based on results of the stellar 2004 season), but lost to the very film savvy New England Patriots.
Now, Reid is the head man in Kansas City. The overhyped (he’s 1-1) Chip Kelly is the head man in Philadelphia. The inevitable game pitting Reid against the Eagles (really, the city of Philadelphia) is here. Obviously, there is a great outpouring of emotion over this event. Most callers to the sports radio station are alight with dreams of the Eagles handing their nemesis a “shellacking he’ll never forget…”
As if this wasn’t enough to cause a frenzy in Philly, there’s more. The Eagles are going to honor equally controversial former quarterback (and a guy that was Reid’s main guy for 10 years) Donovan McNabb that same night. Wow! Reid and McNabb – two of the most talked about Philly sports figures back in town on the same night. I am surprised that the ground didn’t open up and swallow the stadium whole.
Let’s recap:
Philly fans are in a lather because, according to ESPN, Chip Kelly has arrived in Philly and presented the fans with an offense that has never been and never will be again seen in pro football. Something that will live forever and make us forget about football the way it used to be. There is no shortage of talk praising Kelly and his offensive schemes, even if a lot of it is simply a backhanded shot at Reid.
Former coach and media and fan punching bag Reid is back in town, tasked with taking on his former team in what is certain to be a somewhat hostile environment. I think it’s safe to say that Reid will hear some cheers, but he is also certain to hear some boos. Short memories. The team is in a lot better shape now than when he first arrived. But his standoffishness and sanctimoniousness left a bad taste in the mouth of the fans. It’s OK to be a jerk if you win. And while Reid won plenty of games, he never did win the Super Bowl.
Donovan McNabb is going to be honored the night of the game. There are few players that have engendered such emotion from his fanbase AFTER leaving the team than McNabb. The problem is, much like in his playing days – he doesn’t know when to just say nothing. He makes oblique references, and frequently finds someone else to blame for the negative things that happened. A lot of Eagles fans will impugn his skills as a quarterback, but that’s unfair. He was a very good QB, and deserves respect for what he did on the field. It was his inability to accept a leadership role (and also to accept blame for losses) that made him such a controversial figure in Philly. In my opinion, anyway.
So what does all this mean? That the Eagles and their fans will get some measure of revenge by beating their former coach and by booing their former quarterback. Both of whom did many great things as members of the Eagles, but tarnished those achievements by either having too much personality and no backbone (McNabb) or by having zero personality and making too many snarky comments when asked a question (Reid). Chip Kelly and his nothing-like-this-has-ever-been-seen-before offense will see to it that Reid & Co. lose by at least 37 touchdowns.
Not so fast. All the pressure’s on the Eagles. From the fans, from the media… there’s too much focus on Andy Reid. Also, he should know how to get in the head of some of the players. And he might know some of Vick’s tendencies. Add in the McNabb ceremony, and you’ve got oodles of distractions for the Eagles.
It’s rarely good to play when you have too many possible motivators. Reid has nothing to lose. He’s with a new team, he’s 2-0 (already tied last year’s win total) and he’s in a fairly weak division. Despite ESPN’s hyperbole, I think that Denver will crash to Earth soon. Especially if they play a team with a tough defense who will actually pressure Peyton Manning. In the Thursday night game, the pressure is all on the Eagles. They should be careful not buy into their own hype.
The way I see it, these teams are evenly matched. With this much attention on this game, anything can happen. I don’t think home field will be a factor here. Who knows? This ought to be a very interesting game – one played between the fans of a city and their former coach – if nothing else.
As for Angelo Cataldi – he said that he’d be in intensive care if the Eagles lost to Reid and the Chiefs. I wonder if any Eagles fans would think it would be worth it to lose, given this information?
Super Bowl: How to Root When You Pretty Much Hate ’em Both?
Well, the Super Bowl is upon us, like flu season. Considering the teams that are in the Super Bowl, I think I might prefer to have the flu.
Very few players in the NFL have gotten more ebullient and over-the-top praise and love during the 2012 season than Colin Kaepernick and Ray Lewis. And they both play for teams that I despise, so I did not believe the hype.
Ray Lewis has been hailed as a football legend, a proud warrior who will have the distinction of playing in the Super Bowl for his last game. A shining example for future generations of linebackers who receive an OOJ nomination. I respect him as being a very good player, although I could have done without the silly pre-game histrionics. As for off the field activites, I have a more dubious view of him. I won’t bother listing the “up close and personal” items with Ray, but suffice to say – there are some NSFW activities in his life story.
Mr. Kaepernick, on the other hand, has reduced ESPN commentators to puddles of a fairly embarrassing obsequiousness. They’ve pretty much started inventing adjectives to describe his exploits on the field, as they’ve exhausted the superlatives that do exist in describing him. I acknowldege that he has some talent, and that he is doing things as a quarterback that no other quarterback has ever done. A proverbial “out-Elwayed Elway in Elway’s backyard” (which one broadcaster said when describing a scramble by Jacksonville QB Mark Brunell in the 1996 playoffs, when Denver (haha) lost to the underdog Jags).
Given the amazingly strong character that Lewis brings to the game and the otherwordly talents that Kaepernick brings to the game, it would seem that an epic battle to outshine all previous Super Bowls is certainly on the docket.
It’s just too bad that the teams playing for the trophy have to be two of my least favorite teams. And since they can’t both lose, I suppose I have to pick one, if I choose to bother making a pick at all.
I’ve made it a point to minimize my exposure to sports commentary the past two weeks with an eye toward preserving my sanity from the overwhelming tsunami of inane thoughts, ideas, predictions, analysis and touching stories about players we’ll never hear from again.
No, the best way to make a pick like this is to shut all that rubbish out. But the question remains – if it’s between Darth Vader and the Joker, who do you root for to win?
From what I can gather, a lot of pundits feel that the 49ers have the edge (remember, their quarterback is doing the most amazing things that we’ll never see again) and that the Ravens are in over their heads.
I think that the Ravens have a little more spirit than all that. They won’t be impressed by flashy QB play, and they will probably take it out on Kaepernick should he choose to run the ball a lot. They pride themselves on defense, and I don’t know if the 49ers have the fortitude to withstand the viciousness of the Ravens. They’re also not afraid to cheat to get an edge.
The Ravens will probably come out throwing, and look to keep the 49ers off balance. And they’ll probably make it a point to come after Kaepernick and try to cause him to make hasty decisions, including running when the play breaks down. I don’t think that having Kaepernick running for his life is conducive to winning.
Besides, the Ravens are named for an Edgar Allen Poe poem. That, alone, gives them an edge, to me. Even though they’re the Steelers arch enemy, I think they’ll win. Which, I suppose, loosely translates to me rooting for them.
Ravens 34, 49ers 20.
Football? What’s A Football?
No! No! I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle!
Well, since I can’t have that, I’ll have to settle for Football. And football picks. As Michael said yesterday, this will be short and sweet. But still chock full of the brilliant analysis and superior wit you five readers have come to expect.
Seattle at Altanta
Seattle has surprised me, I’ll admit. And they did survive the Dennis Erickson and Jim L. Mora stints. Time will tell if they survive Pete Carroll. Given his track record, I would advise the team to make copies of any trophies or awards they win just in case some despicable scandal comes along.
The Hawks are flying high after taking out the Redskins last week. They found plenty to whine about during the week between games (I heard that Carroll was complaining about the “sweat shop” condition of the field in Denver yesterday), so all is right in Grungetown.
Then there’s the Falcons. Last year, on this blog, I predicted the Falcons would lose to the Giants. Safe to say, I received many contrary opinions. I simply looked at “Matty Ice” and his playoff record (which was 0-2 at the time) and decided the Giants would not have any problems with the Falcons. This year, at 0-3, it’s not looking any better.
The Falcons have an advantage this year, in that they face the Seahawks and not the Giants. “Matty Ice” certainly does not want to be known as “Mini-Peyton” for his propensity for losing in the playoffs. And I’m sure he doesn’t want to hear “His nickname is Matty Ice because he melts in the playoffs.” Well, I think the time is right for the Iceman to cometh.
Score: Falcons 33, Seahawks 23
Houston at New England
This one is a lot easier for me. If New England does not win easily, I will:
- Drink a beer
- Eat chocolate
- Have some Diet Coke
OK, I would do all of those things even if the Pats lose. Which I am sure they will not. Bill Belichick is a master manipulator of his players. I’d bet he focused on J.J. Watt’s finger wagging in last week’s game and drilled it into his offense that he did not want to see any of that in this game. I found it kind of annoying, and I get the impression that Belichick-Fil-A is even more touchy than I am.
I expect the Patriots to feast on the Texans.
Score: Patriots 48, Texans 20
Incorrect Playoff Picks, Sunday Edition!!
Well, after yesterday’s 0-2 whitewash, I am sure all five of you are just chomping at the bit to see the next round of predictions! Why waste time? Here goes!
Colts / Ravens
Well, how about that? One team that I can’t stand, and another team I am mostly indifferent to. Actually, I have no real issues with the Colts. Their loss (with Peyton Manning at the helm) to the Steelers in the 2005 playoffs remains one of my favorite games. It didn’t spawn the great Manning quote “Idiot Kicker,” but the Colts being in this game does give me a chance (if you allow the stretch) to use the reference here.
Add to that the thrilling Colt playoff loss to the Steelers in 1995, when Jim Harbaugh was the QB, and you’ve got a compelling team indeed. Of course, they did eventually win a Super Bowl (2007, remember?), so they have nothing to complain about.
As for the other team? Hmmm – I’m trying to think of nice things to say.
Trying.
Nope. Can’t do it. Can’t think of a single thing. I hope they lose, and I hope Joe Flacco throws four interceptions that go back for touchdowns. Unfortunately, I can’t completely dismiss them. They are getting a big steroid boost this week as the guy who symbolizes the Ravens (for better or worse), Ray Lewis, has announced that he will retire at season’s end. The only retirement announcement I thought was more dramatic was when Roddy Piper said he’d retire if Mr. T beat him at Wrestlemania 2.
Oh hell. The Colts have rebounded really well after losing Manning. Andrew Luck has proven himself to be quite a capable quarterback. But will it be enough? Unfortunately, I think that pure emotion and false sentimentality will win the day.
Score: 24-20, Ravens
Seahawks / Redskins
In an equally non-compelling game, the Seahawks take on the hype machine Redskins. Both teams actually have quite a bit of hype to cut through before you get down to brass tacks.
On the Skins side of things, you have RG III, a rookie quarterback who has done things that no QB has ever done. He throws, runs and wins games. We’ll surely not see his like again. And coach Mike Shanahan? How can anybody not like him? He’s such a fun guy. And if you are not sensing the absolute sarcasm here, know that this paragraph is coated (twice) with sarcasm.
Then there’s the Seahawks. Where to start? Pete Carroll? OK. This is his 3rd time in the NFL, after ‘memorable’ stints as a Jets (6-10) and Patriots coach. Actually, his record as a Patriots coach is pretty good, strictly by the numbers. But he was relieved of duty after an 8-8 season. Considering he was 10-6 and 9-7 in his previous seasons there, it’s more of an indictment of the Patriots and seems to explain why they were such a bad team before they started cheating.
But I digress.
I never thought much of Carroll as a head coach, and figured that he’d be out of Seattle after three seasons. I mean, the guy destroyed a regarded college football program, and has pretty much been followed by the wreckage of his time as a college coach. Now he’s in the pros again, ready to stick it to me again.
After two marvelous 7-9 campaigns (and a playoff run! With a 7-9 record! What an indictment of the NFL!), Team Carroll has the Hawks poised to return to the Super Bowl. And how can I resist? The Seahawks are one of my favorite teams, as they not only lost in the Super Bowl to the Steelers, but whined about it endlessly afterwards. They still whine about the officiating. One must note that the officials did not give up a 75-yard TD run, nor did the officials get burned on a 43-yard flea flicker touchdown pass.
Interestingly, another thing one can’t help but notice is that they didn’t whine too much when the officials GAVE them a win with a horribly bad call when they defeated the Packers earlier this season.
Again, I digress. Wow – I thought I disliked the Ravens a lot. Just wait until I have to talk about the Broncos.
So where does all this rambling, ranting, huffing, puffing and just plain entertaining as hell encapsulation of my feelings about the Seahawks get us?
Score: 31-17, Redskins.
Oh, and Redskin fans – better prepare yourself for endless attempts by ‘Hawks fans to try to downplay your win with complaints about the refs, weather, fiscal cliff, astrology and NCAA violations. Any factor that could have influenced the outcome of the game will likely be brought forth.
Playoffs?? Don’t Talk About — Playoffs?!?! You Kidding Me? Playoffs??!? Saturday Edition.
So, every jerk who’s ever watched a football game is coming forward now to deliver their predictions for this weekend’s NFL playoffs. So, despite Jim Mora’s steadfast belief that we should not talk about playoffs, I am now going to join the chorus of jerks and give you my predictions.
I should point out that since the Steelers are not in the playoffs, it doesn’t really matter much who wins or loses. Without the Steelers, the NFL loses.
Here you will find no home/away records, no mention of playoff inexperience, no mention of rookie quarterbacks, no mention of dome teams, no mention of college performances and no mention of meaningless statistics that are only dragged out into the light during playoff time to make the prognosticators sound like they are better at picking games than the average fan.
These picks are based on gut feelings and quick, off-the-cuff thinking. None of the fluff that is bandied about matters. More often than not, the better team wins. It doesn’t get much more complicated than that. Sometimes a team just has a great game where everything works and they manage to score an upset. This is really all you should need to decide who you think will win.
Bengals / Texans
I have already stated that I don’t think that the Texans are all that, and that they would lose in the first round of the playoffs. I’ll stick to that, but I do wish they had drawn a more formidable foe than the Bengals. The Bengals were something of a surprise, coming out of a division that is usually controlled by the Steelers or the Ravens. They’ve got a smart coach in Marvin Lewis, and have managed to beat Pittsburgh and Baltimore to end the season. They also beat a fellow playoff team, the Redskins, earlier in the season.
What does that mean for their chances today? Not a whole lot, as these games are in the past. It does say that the Bengals are not a team to shrink away from a team that is alleged to be better.
Score: 27-20, Bengals.
Vikings / Packers
Where do I begin here? For having the audacity to beat the Steelers in the Super Bowl, the Packers have forever earned my enmity. Hey – I didn’t promise well-formed logic here. Sports are an emotion-based pastime, and my emotional reaction to the Steelers losing is to root against the Packers. I hope they lose, and lose big. I hope that Adrian Peterson continues to rack up yardage against the Pack’s D, and that the long-haired roid monster at linebacker is left in the dust, gasping for breath.
If the Vikes hope to win, they need to hit Discount Double Check (man, those commercials annoy me to no end) again and again. It’s worth getting a flag or two if you can get Rodgers off his game. He is a very good QB, and letting him have time to throw is never a good thing. Hit him. Flush him out. Defense, let him know you’re there. I’m not saying injure or hurt the guy – football is a tough game that involves people running into one another. All I’m saying is… run into Rodgers a few times. Otherwise, prepare for an exit from the playoffs.
Score: 34-30, Vikings.
I had intended to thrill you to my thoughts on all four games, but I thought a shorter article might be a better option. I’ll be back with my incredible insights on the other two games.
Another Blog’s 2012 Year in Review
Well, it was a crazy year, wasn’t it? At this time of reflection, we here at ‘Another Blog’ thought it would be great fun to look back at 2012 and revisit the blog’s favorite articles that 2 or 3 people (other than us) had read!
Without further ado, let’s take a time machine carpet ride back to 2012! Damn! That flux capacitor is on the fritz again…
Our thought provoking (and quick) take on The Hobbit:
“Unfortunately, we’ve been conditioned over the years to associate the video tape look with cheapness and I don’t think that’s going to change, at least not for our generation.”
https://anotherblogonthefire.wordpress.com/2012/12/18/quick-thoughts-on-the-hobbit-in-48-fps-3d/
Accurate thoughts on the NFL playoffs:
“you’ve got a recipe for Playoff Stew, hold the playoffs.”
Inaccurate thoughts about the Eagles coaching situation:
“With no financial incentive to do so, why would Lurie make a change? From a business perspective, I think it would be foolish.”
A jealousy-inducing series chronicling “Eurotrip 2012”:
“I didn’t go, so I will keep my comments brief.”
https://anotherblogonthefire.wordpress.com/2012/06/27/eurotrip-2011/
How much the All-Star game stinks (not as much as the Pro Bowl):
“While it’s probably true that the baseball All-Crap game is more worthy of attention than the NFL’s Pro Bowl or the NBA’s All-Crap game, it is still, at heart, a lame-o game-o.”
https://anotherblogonthefire.wordpress.com/2012/06/21/the-all-star-game-and-carlos-ruiz/
One of baseball’s greats and why he isn’t (and should be) in the Hall of Fame:
“Murderers and other hardcore criminals have served less of a sentence than Rose has served.”
https://anotherblogonthefire.wordpress.com/2012/02/27/forgive-or-forget-about-him/
So there you have it – highlights from some great unread writing and an unknown amount of unreposted articles. And now, because we care about you, the folks who will quickly move on to other online content, we’re offering you another chance here to not take a look at the great content within. All you have to do is not click through any of the links!
From our families to yours, we wish you a happy, safe and prosperous 2013!
Super Bowl: Rooting When You Pretty Much Hate ’em Both
So the Super Bowl is coming up. All sorts of talk and hype and blah blah blah surrounding this event. It’s like a mushroom cloud, considering how quickly it grows and how lethal the after effects are.
On the one side is all the Patriot backers. Tom Brady’s the best quarterback ever. Bill Belichick is a genius (except for those years in Cleveland, right?). Tom and Bill are still smarting from 2007, when those upstart Giants ruined everything! Gone was 19-0! Gone was a fourth Super Bowl win! Gone was any sensible argument of the Patriots being the greatest team ever! Like the Christmas turkey in Ralphie’s kitchen — Gone!! All gone!!
On the other side is the Giant backers. Their fanbase grows more aggravating as the Super Bowl draws near. There is almost always talk of when the team will finally fire this bum coach, Tom Coughlin, who they’ve had to endure these many years. Let’s not forget Eli Manning – Peyton’s little bro – who, I’ve been told many times, is just not a good quarterback. He looks lost out there. He stinks. Except for that Super Bowl win and those Hall of Fame performances. Every QB in the league should be that bad.
As a Steelers fan, I have an intense dislike for the Patriots for having the audacity to expose the Black and Gold’s every weakness and beat them in pretty much every meaningful game in the last four or five years. Of course, I also strongly dislike the Patriots’ penultimate-to-the-Super Bowl opponent, the Baltimore Ravens. That AFC Championship game was a no-win for me. Either way, I pretty much was left with despising the AFC team in the Super Bowl.
As for the Giants, I picked them weeks ago to be the NFC representative for the Super Bowl. As you can see from the comments on that article, I was in the minority with that prediction. Now that I have been proved a prognosticating genius, I have decided to share my prediction for this overblown little game.
All week, people have been asking me “Mike, who’s going to win the Super Bowl?” or “Mike, I must have your Super Bowl pick so I can beat Vegas!” or “Are you going to eat that soup or bowl of fries?”
So here it is. The Giants will win, 31-20, and the nail in the coffin play will be a 34-yard touchdown pass from Eli Manning to Hakeem Nicks.
That’s right – I don’t care if Brady and Belichick are out to avenge their most devastating loss. In fact, I believe that they are about to suffer a second devastating loss. Their most potent weapon, aside from the ridiculous hype that ESPN’s 2011 Buckeye Newshawk award-winning Mike Greenberg breathlessly bestows on them, Rob Gronkowski is nursing an injured ankle. And unless the Patriots have devised a new way to make films of their opponents practices, I don’t see them being able to stop the Giants.
You see, I think that football is all about smarts and attitude. Sure, being strong and stupid can be useful, but when you really want to be a good team that can sustain quality over the long haul, you really need folks who can think things through. The Patriots are pretty smart – they did win three Super Bowls, after all. But the Giants are even smarter. And they are neither impressed nor afraid of the Patriots.
To me, the genius of the Patriots is defeating a team before you even play them. This is where the aforementioned “ridiculous hype” comes in. When the Pats were really good, a lot of teams bought into it, thereby creating a self fulfilling prophecy of the expected loss. Before you assail this idea, I know it’s a pretty weak and irrational argument. The Pats were good, and defeated teams based on that. However, the Giants, in 2007, were one of those teams that the Pats were supposed to steamroll over. And yet, when the dust settled, it was the Pats who were flattened.
Why? Did Coughlin outcoach Belichick? The hype machine would tell you that this is would be impossible, as Belichick is a genius, and the best coach there is. Well then, Eli must have outplayed Tom, right? Again, the hype machine says Brady is the best quarterback out there. Manning could never have defeated Brady. So what happened?
Simply put, Coughlin, Manning and the rest of the Giants didn’t care what the sports talking heads said. They didn’t care that they were underdogs and were universally expected to lose. They decided that they were going to win. And they did. Because they were not impressed or afraid of the Patriots. And they’re not afraid of them this time, either.
Giants win, 31-20. Manning named Super Bowl MVP. And since revenge is a dish best served cold, Brady and Belichick will find out that it is very cold … in space. And Indianapolis.
Partially Thought Out NFL Playoff Predictions
Wonderful! The weekend is upon us! Let’s turn our attention to the first round of the NFL playoffs set to begin this weekend. Get the chips and beer ready, it’s time to get down to football business!
Houston/Cincinnati – I don’t know if I’ve seen anything from Houston that makes me jump up and down, and they’ve suffered some key injuries (QB Matt Schaub) heading into the postseason. And considering how lame the AFC South was this year, they pretty much won a division that Peyton Manning abdicated from. I think I’d take Cincy in this game. Not a sure bet, by any means – this is the Bengals we’re talking about. It should be a heck of a game though.
New Orleans/Detroit – Who would have thought that the Lions would even be here? It’s great to see, but one must wonder how much they can have left in the tank. I do think that the Saints are the better team, and that they will win, but I think the spread (10 1/2 points) is too high. This game features two 5,000 yard passers in Matt Stafford and Drew Brees. Pity the defenses. This one should be a close shootout and a lot of fun to watch. Maybe something like 79-77 🙂
New York Giants/Atlanta – I’ll take the Giants. After all, they are my pick for the NFC in the Super Bowl. If any team can beat the overblown Packers, it’s the Giants. The Giants have a good pass rush and they can score when they need to (and when they don’t need to). Eli Manning is good enough to keep the Jints in the game, and he’s proven that he can be pretty good in the 4th quarter. As with the previous games, I think this one will be close, and I can’t even come up with anything to say about the Falcons. I hate to feed into the machinery of the obnoxious Giants fans, but… I can’t see them losing this game.
Unrelated Sidebar:
(1) The Packers beat my beloved Steelers in last year’s Super Bowl (the filthy scum!) and (2) Green Bay’s defense is pretty bad – 32nd (out of 32) in the NFL. That’s where I’m coming from when I say ‘overblown.’
Greatest team in NFL history/Denver – If the Pittsburgh Steelers (just imagine the great NFL Films voiceover guy (and Philadelphian) John Facenda saying that) play the way they did (twice) against Cleveland and against Kansas City (KC did beat Green Bay, so props to them), they might have a problem. Their running back Rashard Mendenhall is out, and quarterback Ben Roethlisberger is, like pretty much every playoff quarterback, hobbled. If the game is close in the 4th quarter, I don’t see why any Steelers fan would feel comfortable. I think that the Steelers defense is susceptible to both pass and run (just ask my AFC Super Bowl pick Baltimore), and they tend to play down to the level of lesser teams. The Steelers are definitely the better team and should win, but this is not a gimme for the Steelers, in my view.
Bias and Spite: Mike F’s football picks
Yes – you’re right. There are a million sportswriters/sports personalities out there giving their weekly picks. So why on Earth should I pay any attention to this one – especially when it’s starting in week six? Quite frankly, I can’t think of a good reason. I’m quite used to writing blog entries that nobody reads, so a few more times won’t kill me.
What makes my perspective different? Probably nothing. I can tell you though, that I will not hesitate to show my bias toward my favorite team – and I will not hesitate to use unrealistic and unsubstantiated personal vendetta-type language to underscore my picks. I also may decide not to talk about a particular game or games, simply because I can’t be bothered to muster up the interest.
I’m guessing it won’t take long to figure out what team I favor. Here’s a hint – I hate the following teams: Cleveland, Cincinnati, Baltimore, Jacksonville, Tennessee. Still not sure? I also hate Dallas, San Francisco, Oakland, Denver and New England. I’m pretty much indifferent to the rest of the NFL.
It’s probably best to refrain from trying to figure out the logic behind most of these likes/dislikes. There are some twisted reasons in some cases, and some totally illogical thought behind others. At any rate, I think you might find it entertaining to see what nutty thing I have to say about a given team/game.
Wendy, shall we begin? And yes – I will probably be using lots of obscure quotes and references (like the one at the beginning of this paragraph) in each and every article. Extra points to you if you can figure out the source.
Seattle at Chicago
Ho hum. This one should be pretty boring – I have no real opinion about either team. I do think that Seattle is overrated (and I think this every year), and that Chicago will eventually wind up faltering at the end of the season no matter how they start. I’d expect a relatively low scoring affair, maybe 20-17 or something like that. Unless Jay Cutler decides to throw four touchdown passes or four interceptions. Either way, I’ll be happy to spend my time Sunday afternoon watching/doing something else.
What? You want to know who I think will win? Let’s assume Chicago, unless Seattle has another team play the game for them.
Miami at Green Bay
So Green Bay is 3-2, eh? So much for ESPN and their opinion that GB was going to be a force this year. More often than not, you can count on any team/player that ESPN gets heavily behind to not live up to expectations. Even if those inflated expectations are the property of ESPN only. Without the wildcat, Miami is about as exciting as … reading this article?
What? You want to know who I think will win? Let’s assume Miami. GB has issues (and I can’t be bothered to look them up. They have issues – leave it at that).
Kansas City at Houston
Not much to say here except that I am stunned that KC is anywhere near being the best team (according to record) in the NFL. This is a sad state of affairs. Rest of NFL, you should be embarrased. Houston is tough to root against, considering they’ve pretty much sucked since their inception. I suppose I’d root for Houston in this game, but, honestly, neither team will matter come December.
What? You want to know who I think will win? Let’s assume Houston, as I think KC is a total fraud.
Cleveland at Pittsburgh
Now we’re talking. The Mistake By The Lake against the greatest team in the history of the NFL. Should be a no-brainer, right? Ben Roethlisberger is back, and ESPN would have you believe that everybody is amazed that the Steelers went 3-1 without him. Clearly, they didn’t check with any Steelers fans, because all the Steelers fans I talked to felt the Steelers would go 4-0 and can’t believe they lost to pissant pretenders like Baltimore. The Browns look like they’re all set to fall behind early and watch as the Steelers rack up 101 unanswered points. This is a divisional game and the Steelers tend to play down to the level of their opponent. Don’t be surprised if the game is close, or if the Steelers lose. They shouldn’t lose – they should kick the snot out of the Browns, but that never happens.
What? You want to know who I think will win? Let’s assume the Steelers, of course! It will probably be close, but come on!
San Diego at St. Louis, Detroit at N.Y. Giants
Why even bother? Does anyone really care?
What? You want to know who I think will win? Let’s assume St. Louis and The Giants.
Baltimore at New England
Baltimore should never have beaten the Steelers. I will be rooting for New England to come out and rip the Ravens a couple new ones. This is just the kind of thing that Bill Belichick loves. A cocky team that believes the hype. Expect Baltimore’s suddenly dynamic offense to become pedestrian and expect Tom Brady to prove that he’s more than capable of winning without Randy Moss.
What? You want to know who I think will win? Let’s assume that New England will win, and that we’ll be able to hear Belichick bore us at game’s end telling us that the offense and defense did some good things, they learned a lot about their team and that there’s still plenty of areas in which the Patriots can improve.
Atlanta at Philadelphia
I keep hearing how great Atlanta is, but they struggled against the Roethlisberger-less Steelers. They’re 4-1, but, honestly – it’s a pretty weak four wins. Also suspect Arizona, winless San Francisco and hapless Cleveland? Even their ‘legit’ win came against a reeling New Orleans team. Eagles – hear me now, believe me later. You should win this game going away, and you should simply accept that – long term – Kevin Kolb should be your quarterback. Mike Vick is not the answer. Trade him now and get what you can for him.
What? You want to know who I think will win? Let’s assume the Eagles will ‘doggedly’ prove they are the better team.
Okay, that’s enough for now – seriously, I have other things that I should be doing. Really! The only other game worth mentioning at this point is the Dallas at Minnesota game. Both teams are a snoozy 1-3 (nyahh nyahh), both teams are looking for that elusive winning formula to push them in the right direction. No matter which team wins, not much will change. They will both still stink.
What? You want to know who I think will win? Let’s assume Minnesota will win, unless Randy Moss retires before game time.
All right, that wraps it up. Thanks for not reading this article. It’s been great fun sharing my vast football expertise with nobody. Tune in next week for another edition (maybe – we’ll see).
This weekend, I’ll also be rooting for the Phillies to win and for the Yankees to lose. Nothing personal – I just hate the Yankees with a passion.
Andy Blank
Mike Frangione
Depends on What the Meaning of the Word 'Blog' is 
Haley’s Vomit: Black & Gold Offensive
I can’t say I was excited when I saw that the Steelers had hired Todd Haley as their offensive coordinator. They parted ways with Bruce Arians, and all he did was lead the Colts to an 11-5 record and a Wild Card berth. Meanwhile, back at the confluence, the Steelers sputtered and finished a mediocre 8-8. Two years after losing the Super Bowl to those evil, wretched Packers.
The 2013 season looks to be more of the same – two losses so far, and 19 points scored in those losses. Not looking good. It’s true that the Steelers are getting older and have shed (or outright lack) some talent at the receiver and running back positions (I’m surprised they don’t have negative rushing yards for the season), but this is quite a comedown for a team that – not too long ago – had a pretty good balance of running and passing.
Now, I’m not going to oversimplify things and say that the Steelers offensive woes are completely the fault of Haley. It just seems that way, and he’s a convenient and easy scapegoat. Besides, I am rather fond of my punny headline, so I’m sticking with this line of thinking.
Bottom line – the Steelers offense is like a porcupine with no quills. No points. Or very little, anyway. After seeing them in action twice, I am expecting very little from them, and it’s been a long time since I felt that way about this team. It’s nonsense to assume that one’s team will never go through a rebuilding phase, but it stinks when it happens.
Then there’s the football experts that have deemed the upcoming Saturday night slugfest pitting the Bears against the Black & Gold (NBC must be thrilled with this matchup) a must-win game for the Steelers. Why? What’s going to happen if they don’t win? Will they fire their coach? Change quarterbacks? Give back their unused minutes?
Why wasn’t the Tennessee game a must win? Or the Cincinnati game? After all, if there are any teams the Steelers would want to beat, it’s the Bengals. But no such luck. Now, Cincy is in the very unusual position of being tied for first (with the hated Ravens) in the AFC North. At least Cleveland is following the script, and they’ve scored less points than the Steelers.
A must win game is about as moronic a sports cliche as there is. Almost as dumb as saying that the other team wanted it more. How exactly does one quantify that? The Steelers wanted the win Monday 143, but the Bengals wanted it 227. Now, it’s clear how the Bengals took the win. If the Steelers had only managed to want it 197, or even 213, they might have had a shot.
Even though the blame probably can’t be fully put on Haley, I still want him gone. I’d like to get Arians back, but since he’s the head man in Arizona, that’s not a possibility, either. I guess we’re stuck with Haley for this season. It looks like it’s going to be a long one.
Looking at the schedule, I can see some hope. They play the Jets in week five and Oakland in week seven. Amazing to think that I am feeling hopeful that the Steelers could be 2-5 after seven games, and the Jets and Raiders are not even gimmies. Game eight is New England, so 2-6 is quite likely.
The second half of the schedule doesn’t look any better, with games against Detroit, Green Bay, and Baltimore loom. At least there are two games against Cleveland in the second half. Then again, the way things are looking…. that might not be such a good thing.